Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Saturday, November 15, 2008
white male christian redneck
Humor’s Last Chance………
A Redneck from a red state tells it like it is.

I am worried about the state of humor in this country, or the world for that manner. Everything must be so PC today, our humorists are starving in the streets. Some call them homeless; But I know they are mostly frightened, out of work humorist.

Why even Will Rogers would be out of grace
and out of work, if he was alive today.

If only there could be a record of the last four groups of people that can be made fun of, or even joked about in a humorous way with impunity. You know, to catch history as it disappears.

Webloafer is a member of all four of those last four groups. I don’t consider that unfortunate.

I am a Male, White, Christian, Redneck from a red state.

It is safe to make jokes publicly about me, or with me. And you may have figured this out…….I don’t care. I will not run to the ACLU, the government or the media with charges of insensitively or prejudice.

But I realize, someday, even these last four bastions of humor may be attacked, and defeated by the socialist sycophants of Political Correctness, so I wish to gatherin one place, (this blog forum) all of the redneck, Christian, white male jokes we can. We will then have a repository of the redneck humor before it disappears, like the other group humor. I will start off with a simple exercise in improving one’s vocabulary…

Let's take one page out of a dictionary, copy down the words only, and define them as they apply to me.

I have chosen at random page 197 from the following dictionary

The New American Webster Handy College Dictionary

This book requires a college education just to read the title.

I realize that my definitions may not have the verbs, and nouns, pronouns and such, correct. For a moment let’s forget verbiage or nouniage too for that matter.

Page 197

dilantin, di lan tin
If it’s dark, grab di lan tin to walk to the outhowse

dilapidate, di lap i date
Cuzzin Luke is sparkin a lap dancer….calls her lap, he says, “I won’t talk bout di lap I date.

dilate, di late
Was Di late? I don’t know, what time wer she supposed to be ther
(I have a thurd cuzzin named Dil who we nicknamed Di. Dil sounds to much lik dil pikel. We figured her ma sneezed when filing out the burth curtifiat. She had been sayin she wood name her next girl Dilburt.)

dilatory, dil a to ry
I ain’t gotta clu it sounds cinister

dildo, dil do
Yeah, my cuzzin Dil will do about anything, who has a sharp nife? Dil do
Dil do just bout anything

dilemma, di lem ma
When ya find your ma fell in the pond, you grab a lem off the tree and holler out….grab di lem ma…….

dilettante, dil et tante
Heck I knew that, Dil ain’t even tight let lone tante

diligence, dil i gence
Dili is stubborn…..Dili gence won’t eat peas

dill, dill
two people can make a dill

dilly, dil ly
I sume this is a question, we don’t beleve much Dil says, we all no that Dil ly.

dillydally, dil ly dal ly
Well, Dil ly and his brother Dal ly. Dil ly Dal ly
Yep, someun musta snezed agin…..He were goin to be named Dalhart.
He thinks he were lucki to hav a name easy to spel.

diluent, dil u ent
Many times Ma had to tell Dil, Dil u ent goin to do that

dilute, di lute
Yes I got a boy cuzzin named Di too.
Di lute? I knowed Di was in a riot, but he won’t never lute

diluvial, di lu vi al
Yes Di is a luver, you can say Di luvi al

dim, dim
we always say cuzzin lukes porch lite is dim

dim, secunt meaning.

dim, dim
Where’d you get dim?

dime, dime
yep a dime is a coin good fer losin or stoppin’ on

dimension, di men sion
You no how di men sion of work scares Luke.

diminish, di min ish
I lernd this word reel good. You hav a diminished kapasity, I don’t no what that means, but my sikiatrist telled me that I got one.

diminuendo, di min u en do
I think I et a bowl of this at a frinds house

diminutive, di men u tive
I don’t no what a tive is, but ifen a gal wants ta, i reckon she can do it

dimity, dim i ty
at the golf korse I gave all dim i ty

dimmer, dim mer
Hey, dim mer my glubs

dimout, dim out
the umpire, he called dim out

dimple, dim ple
ifen da toth won’t fall out natturly, dim ple it out

dimsum, dim sum
I told my gal, I luv you dim sum

dimwit, dim wit
When you go to church make sure you sit behind dim wit the large hair, then da preacer can’t see ya sleepin.

din, din
We et bar b q, din we passed de jug

dinar, di nar
Di nar made it

dine, dine
It is sad but cuzzin Jake is dine

diner, din er
I was a sparkin her up rel fine, din er Pa showed up

dinero, di ner o
preacer said to walk di strat an di nero

dinette, di nette
we wood play vollieball but di nette is bein used down at the crek fer fishin.

ding-a-ling, ding-a-ling
ther are chillens readin this, so I woent commint on dis

Anyone want for me to splain page 198?

©webloafer 2008
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Another one bites the dust......
It's a sad occasion, but it had to happen. I had to completely delete a blog of mine today. It was one I started in 2005, called Liz and Condi in 2008. So much for my political future telling. Elizabeth Dole will have to start living as a citizen again, BUT Condi will bounce back. She just might become the first female commissioner of the NFL. 'Dole and Rice in 2008', I had that one nailed didn't I? LOL I have a self imposed limit of ten blogs, so I had to delete one to start up my silly santa blog.....santa's banter.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Finally..reality trumps fiction
Yes! This is a real article snatched from the web.
The source is left on the snatch, this article is too good to not share with those that may not have seen it.
Stephen King, Tom Clancy and other fiction writers, BEWARE!, reality is
becoming more interesting than fiction.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008
Change is good, sometimes
Yes, the flag at half mast was a little too much, but I am torn betwixt two thoughts. Obama, the next president of the nation I love, may grow into the job. I may even hear him say the words someday in a convincingly plain manner, “I love America”.

I hope President elect Barack Hussein Obama loves the nation I love, I really and truly do. If he does, I’ll forgo any criticism of his decisions in his rookie year, or even years. No one can study at a University of Higher Learning a course…. “How to be a President of the United States of America 101!

There are only a few humans (all men) who are experienced at the job, and aren’t they a motley bunch?

They are, they ALL had faults, but the USofA survived.

Every ex-president alive today, is one who lived in the peoples White House while I was driving diesel truck. I respect all of them for doing a job no one but thugs and crooks would want to do. After all, does the president of the USofA make as much in salary in a year as the head honcho of the drug trade in Milwaukee?

I wish Barack Hussein Obama the best of times, may he grow into a president who has nothing in common with Bill Ayres, irreverent Rev Wright, and other marxist friends of his from his past. If he is but a puppet for the marxist George Soros, and starts acting as such, I will start writing about his unAmericanism. Until then, from the bottom of my emotional being, I wish Barack Hussein Obama only good. May he reciprocate.

Why am I a little hesitant? You ask?

One thing any thinking person will agree with me on is this; in his two year path to the Taxpayer’s White House, BHO criticized America over and over again. He even did it overseas, and the world loved it. He criticized the nation I LOVE more than he criticized the one he ran for president against. I want to hear Obama say something patriotic about America. We’ll just have to wait and see. Run a nexus search on ‘Obama blames’ Obama accuses, Obama points out, etc. etc. A mans word is his bond, Yes I know that belief is ancient behaviour, but it served the USofA well in the past.

One last thing, watch this before it disappears. Freedom of expression is the first freedom we all will lose if Marxism is really the name of the game. Watch a celebration of people who tore down the wall, and I dare you to curse my favorite president of ALL TIME, Ronald Reagan.

Want more righteous right wing blogging? Continue Reading
Greed for Government Goodies
Greed for government goodies ushers in Marxism. America will change, you won't like it in 3 years, but it is too late. I'm prepared.

Saturday, November 01, 2008
I blogged my best in June, 2006
Long ago, I smelled a rat in the Marine Corps, named Mutha? Mudpa? Murrpa? Murdertha? Murthnomurth? Murtandlie? Murthpza? MurthuYou? I'm sure you can guess what traitor I'm referring to......and here is my PLEA.....Pennsylvainia please send the traitor John Murtha packing, but PLEASE, don't send him to Kansas. We Kansan's love America. We Kansan's all know of Marines, real Marines, and John Murtha is not one.
Leaving intact my rantings of June 2006, I will share (Cut and Paste) one of the posts from that excellence in cerebralality up to you.....OH GOSH, there I go again inventing words.
June of 2006 has been my best month of blogging up until today. I cut and pasted the blog article below, but, the comments left after the fact were more interesting than my article.
Go to the original blog article and check out the 17 comments left there, at 'Sanity's Bluff'!
Yes, I think we need to exhume the body of a famous General from the past to compare his DNA with the silver haired ex-Marine pictured here with the flag of the country I LOVE.

What do these men have in common that makes me think they are related?

Here is General Benedict Arnold looking longingly toward England while still a commissioned officer in the Continental Army, of the USofA. Old Benedict took a huge sum of money from the enemy to march his troops out of West Point and allow the enemy to take over the fort. It would have been disasterous, but his written plans were discovered on the courier he sent to the enemy, in time to thwart the evil plan. Benedict escaped to England, but had a miserable life after his blood money ran out.
Here is a Dishonorable Representive of Pennsylvania in the USofA Congress. His left hand is making a point....probably trying to convince his constituents that he supports our troops. Yeah, sure.
Here is the Traitor Benedict Arnold looking longingly from his soiled nest, westward toward the America that he betrayed. Benedict was a lonely traitor in his last years of life.....He betrayed the best place upon earth, and had to live in his life in England and Canada. No one in England or Canada trusted him, or would even befriend him. Once a traitor, always capable of betraying again.
Now here is the Dishonorable Representive of Pennsylvania raising his right hand, and calling some of our Marines, 'cold blooded killers'. He has been to too many parties at the Kerry Mansions, he is a traitor too. Look closely at the picture, and you will see a bitter old man, who does not wish that a handfull of our marines be given a fair trial. He has told the world they are cold blooded killers, so that hand he raises has blood on it. In my opinion, the marines are innocent until proven quilty, and there is no quilt in war, it is war, and no war has ever been fought with as little civilian causualites....never....ever. So shut up traiter Murtha.

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