Your humor isn't funny if you cannot laugh at yourself.
REDNECK COME ON'S
I'm sure all of you wonder how a redneck guy comes on to a redneck girl! Wonder no more, I am going to share a few with you, and remember, if you can't laugh at your own self, nothing you say to others is really funny. I'm a redneck and I may have used one or two of these comeon's.
1. “Hey let me get that toilet paper off of your flip flop.”
2. “Weren’t you the gal who helped me when my pickup broke down?”
3. “My unc gave me a fruit jar full of talkin’ juice, let’s go talk.”
4. “My huntin’ dog just had six pups, wanna go to the parking lot and see them?”
5. “Mmmm, let me hold you a little closer, you smell like lye soap and lavender.”
6. “You sure have lost a lot of weight.”
7. “Love that perfume, is it available on little pine trees for my pickup?”
8. “Would you like to swing on my front porch?”
9. “I’ve got a few extra cement blocks back at my place, do you need your pickup worked on?"
10. “Let’s get out of here girl, they’re gonna play some disco music next.”
©2007 webloafer
1. “Hey let me get that toilet paper off of your flip flop.”
2. “Weren’t you the gal who helped me when my pickup broke down?”
3. “My unc gave me a fruit jar full of talkin’ juice, let’s go talk.”
4. “My huntin’ dog just had six pups, wanna go to the parking lot and see them?”
5. “Mmmm, let me hold you a little closer, you smell like lye soap and lavender.”
6. “You sure have lost a lot of weight.”
7. “Love that perfume, is it available on little pine trees for my pickup?”
8. “Would you like to swing on my front porch?”
9. “I’ve got a few extra cement blocks back at my place, do you need your pickup worked on?"
10. “Let’s get out of here girl, they’re gonna play some disco music next.”
©2007 webloafer
posted by web_loafer at 1:18 AM ::
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3 comments:
How about:
Yer teeth is like the stars! They come out at night!
VW
Yes, VW, isn't it great to be able to laugh at something. We can't laugh at the perverts of islam, the idiots of New Orleans, the cave dwellers.
Cave Dwellers....have you noticed, I'm sure you have, that the great warriors of islam cover their face when going into battle. Ah, can you say coward? Our enemy won't wear a uniform, or have his picture taken with his face for the world to see.
Not only is our enemy mostly cowards, they are also UGLY, and if they didn't have the oil money to spend for whores.....they would be lonely......ugly and lonely and nothing like a soldier.....more like a
Worm or Termite.
Should such men be allowed to populate the world with more cowards and losers....? I mean like, should these creeps be given the chance to add more creeps like themselves to the genepool?
If I love my children, and grandchildren, shouldn't I at least make an effort to rid the earth of islam?
Islam is a problem everywhere it is.
Let's rid the world of this curse, and change the name of the perverted religion to Notslam...
Nots lam......
Like one of our great nations presidents once opined.....
What is is?
Is lam?
No
Nots lam.
Get off my world you ugly cowards of islam...I want my children to live in a world without your sickness....and perversion.
My children should worry about what crayola to pick....rather than watch videos of you cowards beheading civilians, and the occasional body of one of my counties finest........
We don't surrender, leave bodies behind, or wear burkas when we fight.....our faces are there pervert of islam.........for you to see.......
We will rid the world of the scum, sometimes called islam.
We can't all live together in peace......so bring it on cowards....let's make war.
We are indeed in a war of culture. It's scary that there are a whole lot of people too stupid, or too ignorant to understand it.
VW
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