Thursday, May 25, 2006
A Terrible Set Back in the WAR
A very crucial battle in the war was lost today. In this war zone, skirmishes had been going on for over a month, but early this morning, it became clear that a real ugly battle was breaking out. The battle lasted for about two hours as the combatants slugged it out in wild abandonment. When the battle was over, the battlefield was a place of sorrow and carnage.
The good guy didn’t win this one, but was able to retreat to homebase, and be content to know that there will be another day to engage the enemy. No excuses, the good guy had good equipment, good morale and good leadership, but still lost.

But I say, to lose one battle in an all-out war is not defeat, it is just one battle. But since there have been few undeniable victories in this war, many people continue to question why the good guy is fighting this war to start with. I plead with you to lay that question aside and think about what this world would be like if no one fought this battle.
Of course there were reporters, TV anchorpeople and video crews nearby to interview the defeated and the victorious. Here is a snapshot of one of the victorious warriors flaunting it.

To Continue Reading…..


Anonymous chemAkal.ken said...

You are a raving nut case. How does this compute to everyday life?
Man, like you need some real quality brain repair.

Blogger Kemper31 said...

chemakal.ken... what's wrong with him expressing his feelings? Isn't that the entire point of a blog? Nice post

Blogger jarhead john said...

Is your real name Bill Murray? Are you really a groundskeeper at a country club? Just checking. I got a good laugh out of that one.

Blogger Jay said...

That made my day!

Anonymous Miss R said...

Hey WL...excellent blog Bud! Just as we have come to expect!! Miss Rx

Blogger web_loafer said...

Thanks everyone.

When I got home from work, the enemy had uprooted a whole pot of impatiens....15 plants probably won't make it in the big pot. I am going to go visit some cooking websites for recipes. I'm looking for squirrel stew and squirrel gravy recipes.

I wonder if the enemy has internet, and found my blog.....drats. I'll have to quit working just to protect my homeland.

I'm ready to negotiate.

Hey….squirrels how about a cease fire So I can bury my dead plants?

Blogger Peace Moonbeam said...

Rest assured, Scooter and I can be there in an instant to protect this innocent creature if you even THINK of cramping its style.
You've been warned!

Blogger web_loafer said...

Hello Moonbeam,

I would not be too anxious to protect this little varmint. But you are welcome to drop by my place and try to convince him/her, (I don’t know) to come and live with you. But I suspect you would quickly tire of the tree rat.
I recently bought some extra hot ground chili peppers and mixed it with a feeder full of sunflower seeds. As usual the little tree rats spent hours stealing the birds food, but I had the last laugh. For several days there were squirrels everywhere walking only with their front feet and dragging their rear end around on the grass trying to get some relief. But I am not all that bad, I opened a couple of preparation H suppositories and put them near the bird feeder, but those little critters ate them.
The way I look at it, is that these tree rats fell through a black hole portal, and really don’t belong on the planet Earth, so I’m just helping them out. Giving them a big send off.

Another thing Moonbeam, the tree rats when ran over and pancaked on the highway, make really good Frisbees, and the dogs love to play tree rat Frisbee catch.
As a truck driver I cannot swerve too much out there on the highway trying to pancake them, but I have a wooden tire thumper that I notch every time I pancake one of those tree rats. I like it when they do the going in circles dance right before I nail them. As smart as they are when stealing sunflower seeds from birdfeeders, they don’t seem able to know what to do when I approach them on the road.

So come on by, and do what you gotta do, and if you bring Scooter, even better. Scooter could muck up a mud wrestling event. Scooter has problems that nothing will help…tequila, herb or banana peels, or all three at once wouldn’t help that loser Scooter.

Oh I’m sorry Moonbeam, I know you like Scooter, but face it, He’s a half dozen shy of a six-pack, if you know what I mean.

But do drop by if you want to hear about the days of real hippies, and not the pseudo hippies of today. I could talk Haight-Ashbury 1966-69 with you for hours.

You might pick up a few pointers, and some of the advice might be useful to you. When talking about tree rat rights to exist, let me refer back to the real hippie days.

We hippies back then talked a good talk about animal rights, but we loved deer jerky and tree rat stew. Turtle soup was good, and barbequed spotted owl was really good. Of course all of that eating was done out of the limelight. When there were straights around we pretended to stand for animal rights. Fact is, we were trying to get people to stop hunting deer, turtle and spotted owl, so there would be more for us, because most of us were pretty poor shots with the rifle or shotgun back then.. Think about it Moon, hundreds of people in communes, none with jobs, and everyone wanting to spend the welfare money on herb or brew…….We had to eat something.

Brown rice is what we served the reporters when they came to our communes, but as soon as they left, we threw it out back to the pig we fattened up for sausage, bacon and ham.

Drop on by, anytime Moonbeam, and yes you can bring Scooter. But you’ll have to bring your own herb and tequila.

I could take you for a ride in the diesel truck and trailer that would probably add a new colour to your tie-died undies……

Blogger prying1 said...

Gosh Web_Loafer - That last comment brought back memories. - We used to go fishing at Hollywood Park Racetrack to occasionally suppliment our diets. One time we caught ducks at the local cemetery and cooked 'em up but those were pretty tough critters. City ducks just aren't the same as country ducks.

I hear the spotted owl tastes similar to dolphin meat...

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