Saturday, January 07, 2006
You'll never believe this...

If you ever hear a truck driver say,

“You’ll never believe this,”

Sit down and listen up, it’ll be worth your while.

You’ll never believe this, but on my return run back to the city tonight, I noticed what looked like a person face down on the shoulder of the road. I stopped as soon as I could get my diesel truck safely over on the shoulder, set the brakes and quickly climbed down to the road. I ran back (well ran may be stretching it a bit, cut and paste, walked quickly, for ran) to see if I could help.

Out of breath, I finally made it to where the person was. Yes it was a person, a man, and the man was obviously inebriated for he was crawling on all fours.

Well, not exactly on all fours….he was using two feet and one hand to crawl down the side of the highway. In his free hand he had one of those Blackberries, Blueberries or whatever they are. You know, those miniature computers with wireless cell phone internet.

It really was an eerie sight. Pitch black night, and a drunk crawling along the side of the highway, using his little handheld’s LCD Display to light his way.

I walked along side of him for a short while, but finally had to ask…… “Excuse me sir, do you need help?”

The drunk stopped crawling and painstakingly slow, sat up and while his head was swaying north to south, slurringly* informed me.

“Nah…..I’z got Google Earth mappin me way home.”

*another webloafer original addition to the Queens Language.


Blogger prying1 said...

Now that is funny. My sides hurt and my eyes are tearing. Hard to type. Thanks for sharing.

Anonymous Stephanie Davies said...

I concur, that was extremely funny! I'm willing to bet he ended up somewhere in a cornfield, woke up the next day and wondered how he got there :D

Just floating by and adding my two cents while voting for your site :)

Anonymous Helen said...

“You’ll never believe this,”
I have to admit it is almost TOO hard to believe but since it's you, I totally believe it. Amazing! Those google guys really ARE everywhere.

Blogger Carol said...

No wonder Google is doing well...
Funny, funny story!

Blogger Andy Dabydeen said...

Good one!

Anonymous Paul Monaco said...

This post is getting printed out and passed around my office! (I can see this happening to a few folks I work with!) - Great Post!

Blogger web_loafer said...

Thanks everyone.

Just had one of those google moments.
You know,
when you decide to google your own brain.
Google is slowly taking control of everything thinkable.

Anyone is welcome to use this joke, anyway they see fit. Just link back to Sanity's Bluff if you use it on the web.

It is strange how that in the most serious of times, laughter somehow heals.

The best of the Year to All of You.

Blogger Violence Worker said...

It's sort of like when us old GIs get to gether and and share some memories. When the story begins with "This ain't no sh*t", you better know that it is and it's about to get real deep.


Blogger JBL said...

That is absolutely hysterical. Truth is stranger...funnier than fiction! Thanks for sharing this, it made my day.

Blogger Empress Baggie said...

ROFL!!!! Came here from The Median Sib. Glad I did!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very truly yours,

Blogger Beth said...

I actually thought this was a serious story for a minute!


Anonymous Jay said...

i'm linking to you. please link back 2 me.

Blogger web_loafer said...

Jay, I linked to your blog sometime ago, I was checking all of my links this evening and visiting old friends.

Blogger prying1 said...

OK! I just finished reading this posting to my Bro-in-law and now his sides hurt. Had to drag this over to my blog and did link/credit you for it. -(:-P~~~~~

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Ok, being a trucker's girlfriend, I have to add an equally funny story. If my boyfriend knew I was posting this about him, he would throw a fit. He was driving his rig through the swamps of Louisiana on a very hot day. In the middle of nowhere, he suddenly developed stomach cramps, sweats, and you all know the feeling. There was hardly a shoulder on the road, but he pulled off as far as he could and grabbed the toilet paper and bailed out of the truck to answer nature's urgent call. Upon dropping his pants, he lost his balance and his butt hit the tire, which was blazing hot and subsequently burned him. As he was squatting by the swamp, a water mocassin snake swam up and headed on shore toward him. Being Native American, he learned early in life how to catch fish with his bare hands, so it looked like he was going to have to do the same with this snake. So he waved the roll of toilet paper ever so slowly to mesmerize the snake and to get it's attention. Once the snake was focused on the tp, he grabbed it by the neck. At that time he stood up. Cars passing by saw a 6'3" guy with his pants down around his ankles, with a snake in one hand and a roll of tp in the other. I never laughed so hard when I heard this story. Trucking is a tough job - appreciate those guys and gals out on the road. Remember, if you have it - a truck brought it.!

Blogger web_loafer said...

ROTFLMAO, thanks anonymous, and I can see why you would want to remain anon.
Years ago the truckers referred to the small place between the tractors cab, and the front of the trailer it was hauling as the poop deck.
You painted a mental picture I'll be trying to forget for sometime.

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Anonymous was telling the truth on her story.......I know......Because it was me and it did happen!!

Blogger web_loafer said...

Usually I don't put much stock in Anonymous comments, but yours are great, and YES, no names are necessary.

Mr. and Mrs. Anonymous!

Good story, and I hope nothing every happens to me like this.

Blogger Jeff said...

no way i dont believe it....great story... love your blog

"The Blog Hog"

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