You'll never believe this...

If you ever hear a truck driver say,

“You’ll never believe this,”

Sit down and listen up, it’ll be worth your while.

You’ll never believe this, but on my return run back to the city tonight, I noticed what looked like a person face down on the shoulder of the road. I stopped as soon as I could get my diesel truck safely over on the shoulder, set the brakes and quickly climbed down to the road. I ran back (well ran may be stretching it a bit, cut and paste, walked quickly, for ran) to see if I could help.

Out of breath, I finally made it to where the person was. Yes it was a person, a man, and the man was obviously inebriated for he was crawling on all fours.

Well, not exactly on all fours….he was using two feet and one hand to crawl down the side of the highway. In his free hand he had one of those Blackberries, Blueberries or whatever they are. You know, those miniature computers with wireless cell phone internet.

It really was an eerie sight. Pitch black night, and a drunk crawling along the side of the highway, using his little handheld’s LCD Display to light his way.

I walked along side of him for a short while, but finally had to ask…… “Excuse me sir, do you need help?”

The drunk stopped crawling and painstakingly slow, sat up and while his head was swaying north to south, slurringly* informed me.

“Nah…..I’z got Google Earth mappin me way home.”

©webloafer2006
*another webloafer original addition to the Queens Language.